sudo sumo ♥'s baby moses

False Claims

2007-05-09T20:01:00.000+10:00

there is one thing i especially hate in forming new friendships is abusing someones trust or care because you are bored or need a compliment. If i really do feel like i know someone well enough and they do this to me then usually i will play along with such charades as it usually leads to whatever issue that is of concern being talked about and resolved. If i have only known the person a short amount of time then that shit doesn't fly with me.

I had recently been chatting to a mate on and off over a couple of months when he through such a deal breaker onto the table. We aren't close and i don't really know him – but we chat still. He says he wants to kill himself because he is depressed. Naturally such a remark pricks my ears and i give this person 110% of my attention negating all others around me. When i try to get a conversation flowing and find the root of the problem all i get is fighting back. This person was looking to shock me for the sake of a few good words. He was not going to commit suicide – he even admitted this himself. I left that at that and pretty much classed this person as a waste of my time, i don't like being fucked around and this person did it to me.

While not completely cutting this person out i now entered any conversation with him with caution as is began to understand how this person worked. Out of nowhere he tell me he thinks he is anorexic. Again i open a discussion but get nothing back – and he then quickly changes the conversation topic. This annoys me.

His false claims have pretty much stopped me from interacting with him – i don't have the energy or effort to bother dealing with this person anymore, and thus they are now gone from my life.

Evolution

2007-05-09T19:59:00.000+10:00

To me evolution seemed to occur out of necessity to adapt to onces habit – which is why there are many different breeds of the same animals with each slightly altered. Evolution usually brings with it improvement or adaption that makes the creature more capable of surviving.

I think we have fucked this up.

We have different races because of evolution. Each race must therefore be slightly different from each other and be more evolved in one aspect where the other is less. With travel now days we are no longer separated, with technology doing the hard work for us we no longer need to adapt to our surrounding, we make it adapt to us.

While we are the shit now how long will this last? We are stopping our own significant evolution by controlling our habitat. Our habitat use to control us.

Along with this we have probably undone many steps of evolution by interbreeding between races. While we all have our own strengths it is therefore possible that we all have our own weaknesses. It would be possible that because of this subsequent offspring could suffer from diseases or illnesses or anything really that had previously been fixed by one of the races itself.

And to further ad fuel to the fire evolution is also tagged with the fight or flight quote, so either we adapt or we die. Prehistorically people with disabilities or injuries or illnesses would have been left to die because their genes were looked at as being no good to mate with, but now with medicine and therapies and technology we no longer perceive this as the case as we have risen up our instinctual behavior because we have developed empathy. We are letting these genes now stay in our gene pool, making it harder and harder for us to streamline and improve what we currently have.

I'm not saying these things to exclude any races nor am i having a go at people with disabilities, merely i am making and observation of how i think evolution worked for us in the past and how it has been altered in this day and age.

global warming

2007-04-22T01:14:00.001+10:00

i recently caught a documentary on channel 2 – something to do with green power and all that jazz. It strikes me that while have have come leaps and bounds in electronics genetics that solar power has lagged so far behind. I don't understand why a renewable and clean energy like the sun is not used more. Well actually i do, because its fucking expensive with no real output. While watching this documentary though it explained a few different forms of green power that i had not heard of before which i thought would e nice to share/state just for the purpose of doing so.

We all know what a solar panel looks like – they are usually on top of houses and probably the size of a large piece of cardboard. - but we have these newer panels that have been developed in Australia, about the size of 2 decks of cards side by side, which sit pretty much on a dish similar to an antenna except all the light is focused on this little panel – it produces heaps of electricity, a lot more than you average solar panel.

Another method they showcased was have concaved mirrors which focus their light onto a row of metal pipes. These metal pipes hold water and as the light focuses on it it heats the water up creating steam which turns the turbines and produces electricity.

The last method which is another Aussie invention is s system that produces our own version of taping into nature involves boaring down 200km i believe until we reach a section of the earth which is permanently stuff in a boiling phase due to some sort of radiation that cannot escape. But you know – its good radiation. Anyway basically this system involves putting water down this hole – it heats up and comes back as steam, moves a turbine then condenses back down to water and goes back down the hole – its self sufficient and has is a constant source of energy with no reliance on the sun.

so why aren't these things being put in place now? Government will prefer to spend 7 million of fireworks and and a few hundred billion on a war – but to spend something that would save the world is just ridiculous – don't you think.

power

2007-04-19T21:07:00.001+10:00

To assume that one has power over another person is ridiculous, to take
power away from someone else is pathetic.

Life could be described as once giant dance, each person you meet is a new
step for you to learn and enhance your ability with. In keeping with the
dancing theme some people feel compelled to be judges and criticize you
where available. These people will try to keep you down as much as they can
simply for their own benefit.

Recent events in the world have led me to question power and what power we
presume we hold over our lives. We are taught by some that what we give out
we get back in return (karma) while others tell us that we must look after
ourselves first above all else, for if we are looked after first, then we
can look after others next. As a child such notions can appear to be quite
confusing. Power is a presumed concept with strong emotional connotations.
Power can make innocent people do things they normally wouldn't while at the
same time add to the already decreasing grip on reality others already have.

A schoolyard shooting – why – because of power. A man felt suppressed,
picked on and ignored. Could he have sought help – yes, did he – no. Sure
there were already signs of this mans unraveling, he had acquired a
reputation with his peers as being mr question mark – he chose not to
socialize, he chose not to make friends, and the only relationship he
appeared to have were either only known to him, or only one sided.

A man who felt suppressed wanted to turn the tables and 32 innocent people
pay. He is dead and cannot face up to his crimes. In between killing people
though he managed to find time to post a package to NBC. In this package was
a plethora of media to me used and distributed for news purposes. Such
planning that had been put into this rampage is quite scary. He had brought
two guns a month earlier, he already had a package prepared for post, yet
during thing month or so he did not even manage to talk himself out of doing
such a thing. Odd. He did not express what he was doing to others, did not
speak to his family – nothing. For at least a month he spent his time
preparing and planing this event. , probably psyching himself up as the days
passed. Perhaps his rumored depression has added to this ending – in which
case 33 innocent people died that day, but perhaps not. Perhaps a fight to
gain perceived power back from those who you feel wield it went to far, and
thus the sudden rise to power went to this mans head. Then again, perhaps he
was just a bad egg.

please sir, may I have some more?

2007-01-31T18:40:00.000+11:00

dear connex,

i guess i'm writing this post for the sake of being annoying but honestly i'm starting to get fed up. you can suck my penis.

i didn't mind the whole middleborough road project because we had heaps of warning and there was a lot of connex staff on hand to help out. if anything that was one of the best handled situations by connex i have witnessed so far.

but then you had to go and shit all over everyone by canceling around 36 trains permanently for the meantime due to brake problems. i understand this is a safety issue but to give no warning whatsoever, no days notice is friggen stupid. you suck at what you do and i'm pretty sick of it. the only reason i and other passengers still even use your service is because you have a monopoly on it. you are the only services available in my area.

your time will be up soon and then i will rejoice by dancing upon a pile of metcards. i might even rub them all over my body if i so desire. i wish you the best for your future, elsewhere.

yours sincerely,

sudo sumo ♥'s baby moses

p.s. your trains still smell and are dangerous

slut of the week: connex egg

2007-01-25T22:12:00.000+11:00

our slut of the week is the connex egg.

i want to call him 'humpty dumpty' but it doesn't feel right if he isn't perched on a brick wall or smashed into itty bitty tiny pieces with seagulls picking at his innards.

he's a sexy bitch and is a part of connex's safety campaign to ease passengers minds. they failed.

i would like to see how that egg protect me from a stabbing or a mugging, i dare it to.

update: paul sent me these ones to add - if anyone else has some funny ones point me towards them and i'll add them aswell.

to speak or not to speak, that is the question

2007-01-25T22:00:00.000+11:00

this one is only going to be short and sweet - i have recently been approached by my old school and have been asked if i could give a speech to first year students about my final year project and the overall course.

to me this sounds like an opportunity to say i have done something in life, a small feat for me, and plus i might be able to talk down on their level and tell them what the course is really like, like i wish i had done to me.

but on the other hand it could be embarrassing, i'm not the best public speaker, i usually fuck up sentences or make up words, or randomly use a rude word instead of a good one. i don't know if i am the most suited for such a task. so yes. that is where i am at now. i'm pondering the ups and the downs of the situation.

myspace of doom

2007-01-25T21:41:00.000+11:00

ok so i know its been awhile since i posted, some of you ... (adam) even tried to kindly remind me to post. well here it is.

i have recently given in to this thing you people call mypace - i have joined you. for shame.

i pre-empted this title about a week before i joined presuming the worst, that i would be subjected to "friends" who i hate, or to have total retarded strangers ask to be my friend then try to steal my organs. so far neither of these two things have happened.

i bite my thumb in waiting.

so far i have found myself just adding friends who i already speak to regularly, i haven't found any old school chums, nor and long lost relative (i know you're all out there you silly fucks).

i have dabbled with making the stupid thing look pretty - a great tute on the net helped with that, but i refuse to go to the extremes of some people and have animated backgrounds and gifs everywhere. i can't bring it upon myself nor be bothered forcing it onto others. i think i will slowly play around with what's possible visually, you know, for the kid's sake.

i can't help but think i have forgotten something else to add.. something important .. something for this week ...

dance dance

2007-01-18T19:57:00.000+11:00

so i'm going through a video posting thing atm - i felt this was relevant to my current poll

the llama song

2007-01-14T20:19:00.000+11:00

who's hotter: britney spears or the pig from babe?

2007-01-14T19:43:00.000+11:00

which one of these two would you most likely prefer to do it with?

think long and hard - each has its own consequences.

post your answer in the comments.

why old people suck

2007-01-14T19:28:00.000+11:00

i have been surrounded by old people of late have come to pretty clear conclusion. they suck.

there is definately a generation gap between me and them and even though i play nice and try to look like i care what they are talking about, i do not. old people talk down to me, they explain things for an hour which i already understand even though i tell them this, they go off on tangents that have absolutely nothing to do with the problem at hand and they also have a slight 'smell' about them.

they usually have scary hair problems (see below), like weird foods and favor unflattering clothes. they lick their lips before they kiss, they tell you how they want you to look, they hate your hair and your beard, they hate your baggy pants and your shoes.

they hate our music, they hate our friends. what they hate most of all though is being told what to do by someone younger than them.

what i love to do is tell them what to do.

ear hair

2007-01-12T20:57:00.000+11:00

i've been putting this post off for two reasons:

1. i'm lazy
2. i'm really lazy
3. i can't count
f. i didn't want to look up a picture of ear hair

at work there is a guy who i will kindly refer to as 'bob'. bob is in his late 50's i would guess and is a part of the i.t. crew. bob has a problem. a hairy problem.

when i talk to bob i can't help but notice his ear hair .. i mean .. its not a little bit its pretty much an eyebrow inside his ear (don't even start me on his eyebrows). the shit sticks out so far i'm afraid to walk past him out of fear it might touch me.

this leads me to question why he hasn't done anything about it. is it an age thing, does he just not care ... if so why .. what does his wife think?

now i don't know about anyone else but if the hair in my ears outgrows the hair on my head something is wrong and that shit will need to be trimmed - or for those so inclined, waxed out.

slut of the week: iPhone

2007-01-12T20:51:00.000+11:00

what can i say, i'm a sucker for shiny new things. too bad i won't be seeing it out my way until 2008.

still if you think about it the japanese have had similar shit to this for the past couple of years .. so it isn't that special ... but it is ... is apple ... everything apple makes is cool ... if i have this i will be cool ... and i want to be cool right ... right? .... RIGHT?

p.s. i'm totally cool about it if someone wants to buy me one for my birthday, totally cool.

penis envy

2007-01-12T20:38:00.000+11:00

for reasons i'm not privy to tell you i didn't want to stick a giant picture of a penis for this post, i mean, i'm sure some of you would enjoy that but for now you can just contend with Whitney from my last post.

i'm here to talk about a very serious subject, penis envy.

of late i have noticed this going on at work but it doesn't have anything to actually do with our penis, no , no sir-ee. it has to deal with the level of the building you get off at.

there are thirteen (13) floors in my building and i am lucky to be on the twelfth (12). every morning i am faced with catching an elevator filled with suits while i am in just a casual shirt and pants. i see the way they look at me, like i'm trash, i'm use to that look. they do think they are better than me and i love it. as we go up floor by floor i watch as they exit little by little. some look confused that i'm still in the lift, others shocked.

i get the best reaction when i let everyone board and the elevator starts and i then press the button to my floor, every time i push that button i kill a little bit of them inside every time. it makes me happy.

i walk away rejoicing that there is only one floor higher than mine, and that they are all cock heads and that i am way better than them.

till next we meet,
jiggly puff

crack is whack

2007-01-02T18:01:00.000+11:00

now don't get me wrong, i'm a huge fan of crack, a little crack in the morning is nice, and some crack at night is even better, but there are some people who should just not do crack all together.

these people can usually be identified by wearing either tight pants or a tight top, or on the odd occasion tight shoes.

there are three main types of crack that i would like to bring to your attention, ass crack, boob crack and toe crack.

ass crack is usually more popular with guys aged anywhere from 20 right up till your late 50's, these people are usually involved in some sort of trade, so they a frequently offering crack right out in the open every day. there are also a smaller proportion of female ass crack dealers, they are usually working in combination with g strings tho.

boob crack is a favorite amongst fat chicks. their voluptuous bossums can not be contained easily in a tight top, usually leading to a mimicking of the ass crack but at chest level.

toe crack has really only caught on in the past few years, once only for the rich and famous, everyday business women are now forcing toe crack onto those around them. it is identified easily as a bunching of skin of the top of the foot which is a result from wearing shoes that are too small. this bunching of skin forms a small crack, usually off center and sometimes, in rare occasions, spills over the sides of the shoe. this is usually most prevalent in closed toe high heals.

ok so thats the bloomin lot, don't forget kids, crack is whack!

boxing day - wtf

2007-01-02T17:46:00.000+11:00

this year i decided i would listen to the crazy man on tv and go out for a one day only, boxing day special shopping session to acquire goods for those who i didn't purchase for before christmas.

i went with a compadre and his amigo and together we raided the village of 'eastland'. we walked around the shopping center a good ten times, just to get a good feel of the layout and then we got into buying the good stuff, and by we i mean i. i brought stuff.

with my monies i purchased some new kitchen knives for my pa, a lovely necklace and earring combination for my ma, and some smelly candles for my brothers girlfriend and some wii points for my brother.

there is one slight problem. none of this crap was on sale.

so boxing day is all shams .. you can get the same thing for the same price before christmas or after boxing day .. and no one tole me.

now if i had been in the market for bras or rugs i would have been set, but, alas, i have no use for either.

so, in conclusion, boxing day sucks donkey balls and wildcats rule!

special christmas slut of the week: halcyon and tassy pink

2006-12-23T22:56:00.000+11:00

i find myself with time on my hands tonight, so i bring you a special christmas edition of slut of the week.

enjoy.

their names are halcyon and tassy pink and they are winners of the best christmas porn. yay for christmas, this is what baby jesus died for peeps.

the BIG issue

2006-12-23T22:41:00.000+11:00

let me start this by saying how much i appreciate some homeless people. to some degree they do make me appreciate what i have a little bit more.

recently, i have found myself working in the city, and have like many others have had several big issue people preaching their wares. i'm all up for making a living, heck, even baby moses had to fill up street lamps for a while there) but i hate people who don't know me come up and talking to me in the city. i hate it.

i have been fortunate to have a few good eggs however, there is a lady i sometiems see and she wished me a merry christmas and i returned the greeting, i see here every few days, always smiling and being polite.

the same can be said about the guy near parliament station, he wished everyone a good night and specialises in the 'goodnight ladies' and doesn't even make it sound dirty. they are the select nice few. then you get the creeps.

they just say 'big issue' and step in front of you, or force the magazine into your path. its only happened to me a few time but none the less it pisses me off. if i'm walking let me fucking walk, if i want the big issue i'll come to you.

but now this problem doesn't exist, i just pump my music all the way up and look straight ahead - works for those tin rattlers as well.

no bang

2006-12-23T22:14:00.000+11:00

while i may not be the first person to describe 'no bang', nor will i be the last, i am however the only person on this blog willing to explain it all to those who want to listen (that might be 2 people).

'no bang' has become a cultural revolution of gigantic proportions, those not currently using the phrase in their day to day life simply are ignorant and should probably be put to sleep, but moving on, 'no bang' is a term of endearment used to reflect the disappointment in (or about) a situation.

if something planned hasn't come to fruition then it was 'no bang'.
e.g. (q) how was your date last night?
(a) no bang

it is both simple and effective and fun for the whole family.

for more information about the 'no bang' revolution be sure to visit here.

slut of the week: ceiling cat

2006-12-20T18:24:00.000+11:00

to start off my first episode of 'slut of the week' i could think of no one better than ceiling cat (http://www.ceilingcat.com).

ceiling cat is very wise and noble which helped him beat out others to be the very first slut of the week.

for more information about ceiling cats' achievements and that of his kin be sure to visit http://www.drinkalot.com/Pictures/1130/Ceiling_Cat.htm

now with added citrus

2006-12-19T19:55:00.000+11:00

i'm now part of the nectarine people, feel my citrus wrath.

this means that i no longer go to school, but rather work and learn at the same time, which, in turn, means i get monies to buy pretty shiny things.

pretty.shiny.things.

you know my name

2006-12-18T21:13:00.000+11:00

so this post is just going to be a baby post, not like a baby moses baby post or anything, rather just a small one. yes. I find myself lately on the way to work playing that 'you know my name' song from the new bond film, especially around parliament station.

it makes me feel wicked cool because at anyone one moment, if i dare choose, i could totally open a can of whoop ass on anyone of those motherfuckers that walk past, and they would totally have to sit there and take it, because i would be bond. james, bond.

that and its a really good song, if you listen hard enough you can pretty much make out most of the casino references, some are easier than others.

oh, and for those of you not in the know, gwen stefani says 'wind it up', not 'one love'. note the giant key she winds people up with, note it well.